Parenting Playbook

Physical play . . .

Adults can easily forget that kids learn a lot through physical play. Physical play might involve roughhousing, wrestling, climbing, swinging, and running around. All children need this kind of play, and participating in it is one of the ways kids can learn to solve...

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Listening . . .

A nurturing relationship involves open, honest communication, and that kind of communication involves listening as well as talking. We need to listen to our children. When we listen, really listen, we show our children that we respect them and that we care about their...

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We all need breaks in our day . . .

Imagine our ancestors moving to the rhythm of the seasons and the sunrise and sunset of each day. Though life for them was tough in some ways, they did have more downtime. Our bodies and minds evolved accustomed to taking some breaks. Now we are in the twenty-first...

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Celebrate logic . . .

You can see signs of your child developing a more complex form of thinking as he or she logically links ideas with the sequences of action in pretend play. Perhaps you will see a stuffed animal have a birthday with a pretend birthday cake and pretend candles that are...

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Putting emotions on the shelf . . .

Thinking clearly is a lot easier if we have a way to keep our emotions in check. Some researchers refer to this as “separation of affect.” This ability to detach from emotions caused by frustration is a skill that allows people to think through solutions to problems...

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Follow the leader . . .

Children love it when a parent will play with them, and child-led play builds a strong emotional bond. When children lead parents in play, opioids—the natural chemicals that give us a general sense of well-being—are activated in their brains. Child-led play has been...

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Aggressive play . . .

It can be hard to understand aggressive play: things like teasing, pretend fighting, mimicking of superheroes, pointing toy or pretend guns, horsing around in a rough-and-tumble way, and dramatizing battles for dominance and power. It can sometimes be difficult to...

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Sometimes words are not enough . . .

Language is an important part of communicating, but words have limitations. Words seldom tell the whole story in an emotional situation. Nuances are inherent in subjective experiences. Because of the limitations of language, using only words can cut off important,...

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Why questions . . .

Why questions are tough questions for young children to answer because they require examination of less-than-obvious origins to wishes, desires, or feelings. Three- or four-year-olds will usually answer why questions in a concrete manner. “Why did you throw your pizza...

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The foundation of a child’s self-esteem . . .

Infants are capable of wonderful conversations through touch and eye contact. When an infant begins to engage actively with the eyes as you hold him or her, the mutual gaze is a conversation with your child. In fact, the ability to light you up in this process is the...

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