Parenting Playbook

Discipline for connection . . .

Disciplining your son or daughter can actually be an opportunity for enhancing your connection with your child. Discipline is something you and your child can do together. Punishment, on the other hand, is something adults do to children. Punishment creates...

Retiring as referee . . .

Sometimes parents feel all they do is enforce family rules and arbitrate kids’ battles. Usually three reasons explain a parent’s frustration when this is the case: (1) ambiguous rules, (2) inconsistent follow-through with consequences, and (3) children’s wishes for a...

Belonging . . .

One of our basic human needs is to feel a sense of belonging. Children and adults often behave in ways to have this need met. For children, receiving attention is an indication that they belong. This situation means that children need to know that they can ask for the...

Aggressive themes . . .

The appearance of aggressive themes in the pretend play and conversation of three- and four-year-olds can be a sign of developmental progress. As parents, we want our children to be appropriately assertive and independent, so we do want to foster the feelings that can...

Keeping it together . . .

In the best of circumstances, parents sincerely love their children, want them to be happy, and want to parent them in the most nurturing way. Most parents would also admit that the complexity of the parent-child relationship sometimes triggers a reaction rather than...

Developing social skills . . .

Effective social behavior is fundamental to living life. Caring about others, getting involved with others, recognizing friendship, and appreciating intimacy are important parts of our lives. We need connection with other humans, and social activity is foundational to...

The energetic toddler . . .

As a parent, you may experience times when an energetic child ruffles your feathers. If you have an active toddler, try to remember that busy toddlers are just as eager to please as toddlers who aren’t quite as “bouncy.” Their heart-felt desire is to connect with you....

Wiring for “we” . . .

The brain is more than a single organ inside a single skull. The brain is social and thrives on relationship. As scientists have learned, what happens between brains has a lot to do with what happens within each individual brain. As parents and caretakers, it is...

Helping kids connect images to emotions . . .

Last week we discussed how to connect physical sensations to emotions as one way to help children become more aware of their specific feelings. Being aware of emotions is the first step toward deciding what to do next. Another way to help your kids make connections to...

Connecting physical sensations to emotions . . .

One way to help children develop emotional awareness is connected to their physical sensations. Parents can help their kids learn about this connection between their bodies and their emotions. As kids become more aware of what is going on inside their bodies, they can...

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