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April, 2012

Retiring as referee . . .

Sometimes parents feel all they do is enforce family rules and arbitrate kids’ battles. Usually three reasons explain a parent’s frustration when this is the case: (1) ambiguous rules, (2) inconsistent follow-through with consequences, and (3) children’s wishes for a little parental interaction. Let’s take a quick look at these big three. To be effective, …Continue reading

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Belonging . . .

One of our basic human needs is to feel a sense of belonging. Children and adults often behave in ways to have this need met. For children, receiving attention is an indication that they belong. This situation means that children need to know that they can ask for the attention they need. They also need …Continue reading

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Teach calming techniques . . .

Last week we talked about the importance of teaching our children a “feeling vocabulary.” Expressing feelings with words rather than with actions such as hitting is easier when the words that fit the situation have been learned. Children also need constructive ways to deal with the range of emotions they experience. To develop constructive responses …Continue reading

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Siblings and feelings . . .

Feelings enhance life, but they can also create some complications. If you have more than one child, quite different feelings may occur during a single shared situation. One child may feel excited about going to a first soccer game, for example, while the other sibling may feel disappointed that he isn’t getting to play. That’s …Continue reading

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