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December, 2008

Change the scene . . .

As Lawrence J. Cohen says, there are a lot of great reasons to choose a “meeting on the couch” over a “time out.”* Whenever a problem of any kind arises, a meeting on the couch will allow parent and child to reconnect. Having “a problem” means that somewhere a disconnection has occurred, and the disconnection …Continue reading

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Holiday excitement . . .

This is a good time to remember that joy can be stressful! Joy is a high-arousal state of being for kids. So, enjoy the “joy” and manage the stress. Here are a few ideas for managing the excitement of the holiday season: Know your child’s personality and limits. If you have a child who needs …Continue reading

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Is it a distress tantrum or a tantrum for control? . . .

Distinguishing between a tantrum for control and a distress tantrum is important so that you can respond in a way that will be most helpful to the development of your child. The two tantrum types require two different reactions in order to nurture essential brain connections that will enable your child to regulate emotions in …Continue reading

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Tantrums for control . . .

Temper tantrums for control, referred to as “Little Nero tantrums” by educator and author Margot Sunderland, are very different from distress tantrums. During a distress tantrum, a child’s brain and body are flooded with stress chemicals, and the child experiences and shows anguish, desperation, and panic. A temper tantrum for control, on the other hand, …Continue reading

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Distress tantrums . . .

Temper tantrums typically occur because connections in a child’s brain have not yet developed in a way that allows for powerful feelings to be managed in socially acceptable ways. This week, we will look at distress tantrums, temper tantrums that are the result of genuine emotional pain. A distress tantrum is activated by one or …Continue reading

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